THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Texas Style
Submitted by Ruthie & Billy
'Twas the night before Christmas
In Texas, you know.
Way out on the prairie,
Without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin
Were Billy and Ruth,
A'dreaming of Christmas,
Like me and like you.
Not stockings, but boots
At the foot of their bed.
For this was in Texas,
What more need be said.
When all of a sudden
From out the still night,
There came such a ruckus
It gave me a fright.
And I saw 'cross the prairie
Like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up backboard
Come out at a run.
The driver was geein'
And hawin' with will,
And horses, not reindeer,
He drove with such skill.
C'ome, Buck and Poncho.
And Prince to the right,
There'll be plenty travelin'
For y'all tonight.
The driver in Levis
And a shirt that was red,
Has a 10-gallon Stetson
On top of his head.
Santa, dear Santa, you worry us so.
I feel I must tell you some things
you should know.
That belly of yours just gets bigger
each year.
We think it reveals too much holiday
cheer.
We've started a fan club, there's two
of us here.
There's me and my hubby, a faithful dear.
You are our hero, you've touched us somehow.
You're all that we have to believe in
right now.
You check us all out to see if we're
naughty.
Is that glow on your nose from an extra
hot toddy?
While we love to hear all your ho ho
ho-ing.
The list of fat stories they
tell just keeps growing.
Is it true that last Christmas you suffered
from gout.
And those snazzy red trousers you wear
let out?
One strange vicious rumor, it's a false
one we hope,
Has you dropping gifts down the chimneys
by rope.
While all of your ho hos we know very
well
Your ding dongs, we fear, don't come
from a bell.
They say, as your reindeer streak through
the sky,
Your drink cherry cokes with your raspberry
pie.
The aerobics instructors are all sure
to say,
"You ought to work out, maybe jog with
the sleigh."
Perhaps strong exertion is too much for
you.
But you really should try just a sit
up or two.
So shed a few pounds, Santa, what do
you say?
We all want you back to enjoy Christmas
day.
Season's greetings from me, one hubby,
two cats
Merry Christmas to you, please take care
of your fats.
As he stepped from the buckboard
He was really a sight.
A bears and a moustache
Ao curly and while.
As he burst in the cabin,
The children awoke;
And were both so astonished
That neither one spoke.
He filled up their boots
With such presents galore
That neither could think
Of a single things more.
When Billy recovered
The use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper,
"Are you Santa Claus?"
"Am I the real Santa?
Well, what do you think?"
And he smiled as he gave
A mysterious wink.
Then he leapt on the buckboard
And said in his drawl,
"To the children of Texas,
Merry Christmas, y'all."
